I’ve never been one of those people who enjoy a long drawn out pause for dramatic effect so lets rip the bandage off right away.
The answer is YOU are. You are getting in your way. PLEASE HEAR ME OUT! When I first heard a friend tell me this truth I didn’t want to hear it. I had 1000 “good” excuses lined up. So I understand how that guard goes right up fast as lightening. I said I’d always be honest with you so here it is, the cold hard truth. We all get in our own ways. I am a self proclaimed recovering self sabatuer. I now own the fact that if I don’t keep myself in check I will sabotage myself. Sometimes it’s because I don’t think I deserve something, sometimes it’s my insecurities or subconsciously afraid of what that new reality might look like.
For Example: (and I’m being raw and real so please be gentle with me) When I was at my heaviest and would day dream of being healthy and “thin” I would hear that mean voice in my head convince me that my GORGEOUS husband likes me this way and what if he no longer wanted to be with me because I wasn’t thick anymore?
You see how damaging that thought might have been? Was it true, um no, not one bit. Y’all I don’t know where the negative voice in our heads get the nerve to talk such nonsense but it does. Just like with plants, if you don’t give it what it needs to grow it will eventually die. THIS is the goal for that evil voice in our head.
I know some of you are saying you don’t have that mean thing between your ears but I beg you to look closer. Maybe yours doesn’t talk to you about your weight maybe yours keeps you from asserting yourself in a meeting, maybe yours is way more subtle. There will be some people who don’t experience this voice or who have quieted it to the point where they no longer struggle with it so KUDOS to those people, because that’s fantastic! For the rest of us I hope you know that there is a way to quiet him/her from speaking those things into your life.
It’s very important to remove anyone from your life that has that echo, those jealous or hateful voices that speak on your insecurities. I do not care if they are friends, family or coworkers. DO NOT give these people any more time in your life then you absolutely have to. For situations like this I urge you to listen to or read the book “Artful assertiveness skills for women” by Margaret Nash (sorry guys it’s geared towards women) This book has helped me in a number of ways.
Now that you know to remove the negative voices in your life I need you to also remove the negative images. This could be people you follow on Instagram that don’t speak positively in your life, or perhaps people you are friends with on Facebook who are always talking down to themselves or others. Please trust me that this is TOXIC and should be avoided. Don’t forget the videos you watch on YouTube or maybe a show on netflix or hulu. Guard yourself from the muck that is readily available out there. I can’t tell you how harmful this can be to you.
Self reflection time. When you start to go after your goal where does it normally fall apart? One interaction I had recently (with my HEB grocery pick up gal, HEY GIRL, if you’re reading this!!) she talked about how she eats well for a couple of weeks then stops. This was so me! I heard that it takes 30 days to start a habit but that’s a lie! It takes repetition, it takes practice and there is no magic formula for how long it will take people. This was a downfall for me because I kept thinking, this habit should have stuck by now, and I’d go off the rails. So take out all of your preconceived notions and just do the work, Write down your goals where you will see them everyday and get to work. You are worth the effort and believe it or not you are the only thing that can keep you from accomplishing your goals.
I think this is where I’ll leave this subject for now.
All my love,
Stephanie